A good laugh

I read a number of the comments on this site and got a good laugh. This particular one just has everything. It’s a real classic. I have stated my disdain for the Intelligent Design idea a long time ago. I believe it was discussed and tossed out a few hundred years ago. This is the current farce created to mock the current ridiculous notion called Intelligent Design. It has allowed a lot of uber Christians to show their lack of intelligence. Every religion has them. And they don’t represent the religion. But they do make for some damned funny reading.

Pee Wee’s Luau

I was searching the Internet for video of the “Samoan Slap Dance” when I came across this video uploaded by good ol’ Mr. Bali Hai. A nice memory to share.

Cocktail Geek god-send: Bagged Crushed Ice

A huge part of my luau preparations and planning has revolved around the cocktails to be served. I feel a calling to correct the decades of evil perpetrated by slack bartenders who serve tropical drinks, even being so ridiculous as to call them “Mai Tai,” that are nothing more than sickly sweet fruit juice slop.


Hale Tiki Augusta local talk

I was wandering around the Internet and came across this local Augusta message board with a post about the closing of Hale Tiki. 

After the middle of the second page it gets more into what needs to be done to develop their downtown. The talk about Hale Tiki was interesting though. It helps shed light on why the place didn’t work well there.

Here are a few quotes:

Yeah! What ever…..good rid! People been saying drinks were a complete rip off!

A nice sentiment. Good rid? Typical rock throwing by neanderthals.


The secret to getting your house really clean

Keeping your house clean is a lot of work. Day to day you put dirty clothes in the hamper and dishes in the dish washer and wipe up messes on the counters. You straighten the house continually. But, really cleaning the house, often does not happen. When was the last time you swept/vacuumed the whole house and mopped the floors? When did you dust last? Scrub the tile? What about those stove eyes? Been a while? It’s just not what you feel like doing and so it gets put off again and again. Well, I have the solution. Throw a party. There is nothing like knowing dozens of friends and maybe even near strangers will be coming to your home for an evening to make you get down on your hands and knees and scrub. My god, how did the kitchen window get so dirty! My lord, look behind the refridgerator!  So, in our household, we plan regular soirees to force us to do the cleaning we generally avoid. The bathroom shines, the shelves in the fridge are clear again and the trashcan is minty clean. I highly recommend it! And for extra added bonus forced work, throw a party in the yard, so, you then have to get the yard in shape and you still have to clean the house too because they have to go through it to get to the bathroom.

Ear Candy – A Touch of Tabasco

A Touch of Tabasco
You may recognize “I Only Have Eyes For You” from a Lipitor commercial. I love Perez Prado and I love Rosemary Clooney. Putting these two together was gold. Perez should have teamed up with more singers because it really brings his music to a new level. I wish they had done about 10 records together, but all we have is this one jewel.

Billy Mure is coming back to Hukilau this year. His partner Debbie was Rosemary’s assistant for many years. The two of them knew and worked with about everybody in music it seems. If you want to know more about Rosemary Clooney, ask Debbie.

This is one of my all time favorite records. Enjoy the download!

Vintage Hawaii Slide of the Week

I forgot to do this mid-week, so I am playing catch up. It’s been very busy here with preparations for next Saturday’s luau. Here is a beautiful image from 1963 of a rainbow over the Punch Bowl.

Aku Aku Las Vegas Drink Menu

The Aku Aku in Las Vegas has always been a sort of high point to me. Vegas and tiki. And knowing Bamboo Ben’s grandfather Eli Hedley put it all together makes it even better. Aku Aku ephemera is one of the few tiki things I collect.

I just got this Drink Menu to go with my dinner menu. The image on the cover is the same as the dinner menu

The first page has some of the branded glassware and there is a tiki bowl. I am a fan of the ice shell drinks. To make an ice shell (Kern Matie, GM of the Mai Kai taught me this) you first need a pretty round glass, like a wine glass. You put crushed ice in the glass and using a spoon, press it around the glass so that it makes a shell around the interior maybe 1/8 to 1/4 inch thick. Put the glass in the freezer and let it set up. Then take the glass out and gently push the ice down on one side so that it comes up to make the shell and then press more crushed ice in the glass to line it again and refreeze.

Here are a few more drinks. Makes me thirsty!

Hukilau 2002 video

Hukilau logoI recorded very little video at Hukilau 2002. I was way too busy working my ass off and sweating! But, I put this little slice together and posted it on a site a long time ago that I had forgotten about. I have uploaded it to a new location that I hope will be more permanent.

Download here.

Can you spot Sven Kirsten? Love the 14 foot tall tikis by Mai Tiki!

Mickey Spillane is pushing up daisies

SpillaneMickey Spillane passed away Monday. I don’t know how I began reading his novels, but once I started, I could not stop. I’ve never read a book that kept me turning pages like his. And his writing created a world and genre that exist very vividly in my mind. Tough is defined in those books. If you have not read one of them, I highly recommend them. You have doubtless seen many old detective movies. These books put you in his head and introduce you to a New York sleaze and filth you always thought must exist. Doubtless these books fueled many an artist. I will never forget lines like “I pulled my heap to the curb.” The dames he discribes and I imagine are only closely realized in Vargas paintings. A classic. A series of classics.

“I snapped the side of the rod across his jaw and laid the flesh open to the bone, I pounded his teeth back into his mouth with the end of the barrel … and I took my own damn time about kicking him in the face. He smashed into the door and lay there bubbling. So I kicked him again and he stopped bubbling.”

“There wasn’t any kitten-softness about her now. She was big and she was lovely, with the kind of curves that made you want to turn around and have another look. The lush fullness of her lips had tightened into the faintest kind of snarl and her eyes were the carnivorous eyes you could expect to see in the jungle watching you from behind a clump of bushes.”

Awesome 1966 home

Back side

With Ms. Swanky in realty, we get the occasional opportunity to see some fantastic homes we can only dream about. Last weekend, the company had a get together at just such a house.

It was built in 1965-66 by a doctor. The property is a bit out of the way, but the land was chosen for the incredible view. It sits on 33 acres, so, you won’t have to worry about neighbors crowding you ever.


From the outside it has a certain modern look, but also a mountain lodge feeling. Inside there are a good many remaining touches of 1966 that just made me swoon. The porcelain and tile in the bathrooms was still mostly original and just fantastic. This, by the way, is how you date it rather exactly. Under the toilet lid of older homes is the exact date of manufacture.


There was a vintage intercom system through out the house, as well as speakers that ran to a central location to attach to a stereo.
One bedroom had a pristine drop down ironing board. And there were these small “shelf” pieces around the fireplace.
A simply lovely house with incredible potential. Built to high standards in 1966. Available with 10 acres for $890,000, or all 33 acres for $1,200,000. If you are interested in buying, email me and I can get you a tour of the place.

Hukilau 2006 – Fort Lauderdale – Mai Kai

In 2003, 2004 and 2005, we rented about 35 rooms at the Bahia Cabana to Hukilau guests. This year it’s filled with Hukilau guests for the first time. That should make for a very great weekend.

The Bahia Caban sits on the spot of the hanging of a pirate in Fort Lauderdale.

The Mai Kai is celebrating it’s 50th anniversary this year, and is still run and owned by the same family. It remains the number one “must see in my lifetime” destination for many. This is the best time to see it too. Filled with several hundred people who all walk in the place and never want to leave. People who relish the mood that takes them so very far away from normal life, to an oasis.

Knowing that nearly every person you pass at the Bahia Cabana is a Hukilau attendee should insure meeting lots of new and old friends and a great time. Someone once said you could hold Tiki Oasis at a Motel 6 and it would still be an incredible time because of the people. This will be one of the best times, with some of the best people.

Bel Aire Motel – Clinton Hwy – Found

Bel AireThis postcard eluded me for a while because I had no information on it’s location. But a reader of my forums knew it and pointed me to the right place. I drove past there daily for a months now and didn’t recognize it.

Bel Aire now 1

It is pretty run down. But there are people there doing something. Likely not making it a motel. Now we know the location.

Bel Aire now 2

Ear Candy – Enoch Light – Reeds and Percussion

Enoch Light - Reeds and PercussionI recorded this LP some time ago and had forgotten about it until it came up on my Winamp player. I made a playlist of every song on my computer, so everything gets played eventually. This makes for an odd mix, but not nearly as odd as when I made a playlist of every sound file on my computer. That was really interesting. Besides all the music, it would play Windows sounds for maximizing and minimizing windows. The real oddities were the sounds for games when “Arrrrgh!” and “Red Two ready to attack” would get mixed in. I’m the sort of person who enjoys that kind of crazy mashing of sounds. I bet many of you are too.

This may only be one side of this record. I don’t have it in front of me to tell. I mixed in some exercises to help keep you fit in this swimsuit season. Download and enjoy it!

Vintage Hawaii Slide of the Week

Tongan Guide

This image is from 1963 in the Polynesian Cultural Center. Here we see the guide for the Tongan gardens. I have never seen tapa cloth worn as a skirt, and certainly not by a man.
Tonga TikiAnd here is our first sighting of tiki.

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